Rose-coloured spectacles LO26456

Date: 03/29/01

Replying to LO26243 --

I am just catching up on an inventory of old LO notes.....seems like I
always lag the group by month or so......probably has something to do with
living in the middle of the US.

Karen and Sajeela had a discussion of Values.....a subject that has had
several lives over the years on this list. Sajeela your response is much
more articulate than mine, but I have one experience to relate:

A very small snip from Karen's note

>Our group has decided (snip)that if a person is not "buying-in" to our
>view of the universe then it's not in our best interest to maintain that
>relationship. But of course this ends up working against us in the end.
>(snip) Now I have a personal ethical decision to make. Do I compromise
>my own values in order to honor and live by the group's values. I think
>this might be the question at the core of every collaborative effort and
>maybe every learning organization.

When I was in my 20's and probably into the 30's I operated very much
along the lines of the Michael B. "fairness doctrine". Did what was
happening make sense to me and was I being treated fairly in the process?
I found many opportunities where this was not happening and immediately
sought out an opportunity to impale myself on the biggest sword I could
find (usually sticking up out of the middle of the floor) and make a scene
about it.

As I have entered my fifth decade of life, I now realize (golly there is
some benefit to getting older) that my actions may not have always been
wise and other opportunities were available to me that did not involve
bloodshed. Bloodshed is painful by the way....especially when it is
yours. (some of us you may note from my commments are very slow
thinkers......but we eventually come around)

So with that as a background....let me offer the following. There is never
one solution! When you ask "Do I compromise my own values..."
absolutely not! But what alternatives exist to give you some space? If
the group is doing something dishonest it is probably best to break-off
the relationship. But if they are simply narrow-minded, misguided or
confused perhaps one's roles is to work on change from within and avoid
impaling your body on the sword.

A very narrow response to your question. When I work with teams I will
always work with them to come-up with at least three solutions that could
work for sensitive problems. What are three ways you could accomplish
your objectives from within?

Best wishes to all,
Michael Bremer


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