Motivation to Learn when in Despair. LO28588

Date: 05/24/02

Replying to LO28553 --

In a message dated 5/20/02 2:06:36 PM, writes:

>She fears that as soon as she does that, her young daughter will be taken
>away and put into foster care.


I cannot begin to imagine what advice would benefit the family situation
you describe. The picture you paint of South Africa is bleek and I find
it difficult to relate to it from my experience (perspective) living in
Chicago and my experiences in traveling around the world.

I do have a question. Most parents want their children to have a better
life. Would it be better for this family to allow a child to go to foster
care? Certainly not if the results of that foster care are unknown or if
abuse would be likely. However, if the child stands a chance of more
personal growth and safety, is it better to give the child up? I
certainly do not know the answer and am not in a position to judge anyone
else. It is simply one possible path.

I just finished working with a group of people in New York state who work
for a large organization that is downsizing. Many of the people act like
victims of change and do little to gain some degree of control of their
destiny. They feel and act powerless. Part of my work points out that
many pathways exist. There is not one pathway or just one outcome. We
all make choices, sometimes those choices are difficult. I make a choice
to let outside forces cast me where they may, I also make a choice to try
to do something. When people let fear control them, to some degree thy
freeze their mind and become quite rigid. New possiblities may stare them
in the face, but you cannot see them from a rigid perspective.

The picture you paint is bleek. I certainly do not know how I would act
if I were the one in that position. But, it seems like once people can
accept (in their minds and in their hearts) the worst thing that could
happen they are in a position to open their minds. Fear no longer
controls them.

My thoughts (positive) and prayers,
Michael Bremer


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