learning and trust LO13140

Thomas Benjamin (BENJAMIN@fac.irm.ernet.in)
Mon, 7 Apr 1997 16:50:50 +0500 EST

Replying to LO13130, LO13114, and LO13126

IMO, One needs to be innocent to trust. Blessed are those who trust
unconditionally. When however, one misuses the trust, make certain the
opponent realises that you will reciprocate. The world teaches us not to
trust. We need to unlearn and then learn to trust. Learning to trust
involves risk. A trusting environment I believe utilises the creative
energy of individuals in the system. It is better to spend creative
energy on productive purposes than on maintaining trust. Let me quote the
four simple Tit for Tat principles suggested by Henry Malcolm & Claire

-never be the first to defect from the relationship or take advantage of
your opponent.

-Make certain your opponent quickly realises that you can & will
reciprocate if you are taken advantage of.

-Forgive the other side for not having understood the superiority of
mutual gain over selfish advantage.

-Make certain that every opponent(or person with whom you have a
relationship) understands your needs and requirements.

I have personally experimented with trust. I have been hurt. Eventually,
I think it has paid dividends. As David pointed out in LO13130, to trust
another is dependent on the trust you have on God. In the Bible, God said
have faith(trust) in ME. God did not say, having faith in Him means, He
will keep us from the kicks we get.

In the last three months I taught two courses: In one I was rewarded
without any hitch. In the other course, I had to use the above principles
to steer the class back to order. To quote a reaction of the first class
- He(Instructor) trusted us completely, it was a different experience.
The other batch of the same institute misused the trust. One of the quotes
was you should have been more strict. I feel sorry for the wasted energy
of both parties in the second course.

With warm regards,

Thomas P Benjamin
Anand 388 001 India
Email: benjamin@fac.irm.ernet.in


"Thomas Benjamin" <BENJAMIN@fac.irm.ernet.in>

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