(Or, it may just be us New England puritans, wanting more pain and
suffering in our lives! Winter has been a bit mild this year...)
My experience is that the powerful lessons are not without discomfort, and
the amount of learning is directly proportional to the discomfort.
Certainly the most powerful lessons I have learned about people, about
leadership, about managing, about my own abilities and limitations arose
from my most painful experiences.
At a less painful level, I have learned most from those managers and
mentors who were willing to challenge me, challenge my assumptions,
challenge my strengths. They were willing to point out to me, at some
risk to our relationship, where I might pursue expansion of my capacities.
They challenged me to work on those aspects of myself that were least
well-developed, that were the most difficult for me, that were
uncomfortable for me to even contemplate. In reflecting on those people
now, I even note that they did not -- to their own benefit -- build on my
strengths, but instead challenged me to build up my weaknesses.
The general lesson I draw from this is that change and learning and
deepening do not come without discomfort, and perhaps even pain. Robert
Fritz talks about the creative tension. That is exactly what a good
performance evaluation is all about, creative tension. I think I hear
people here saying, on the one hand, embrace change and celebrate
mistakes, but don't make it too uncomfortable, maybe people will not be
able to take it. Unfortunately, the discomfort goes with the turf. No
one wants someone to make the same mistake over and over. So, make a
mistake, but for god's sake learn from that. Reflect on it, talk about
it, discuss it with a trusted mentor, and make another mistake the next
time, but don't repeat the same one. Creative tension leads to learning.
Creative tension comes from, in part, "coming clean" about what you have
done, and how it worked. The assessment process is essentially a
reflective one in which one acknowledges -- it takes courage, another
skill to build up -- what did work, what did not work, what one learned
from it, and what the next experiment will be. By the way, when you do
this, you will _be_ a leader.
How does a manager get people to participate in a process that is
essentially uncomfortable, and still have them like the company (or the
manager), perhaps even love it (or him or her)? This sounds silly, but it
is not. Companies make rating work when employees believe that the
company -- actually the manager -- cares about the employee. If the
manager cares, then he or she can do uncomfortable things, and people
will, in general, trust them. If I can establish trust, and have a person
believe that I care about him or her, then I can create situations that
are inherently uncomfortable, and it will become a learning experience
rather than just the boss creating discomfort.
Furthermore, when I create an uncomfortable situation as part of an
assessment process, I am actually expressing a lot of confidence in a
person. First, I am confident they can deal with the discomfort. Second,
they have a certain amount of bravery. Third, they can be honest with me
even though it may expose a weakness. They can allow themselves to be
vulnerable. Fourth, I assume they want to learn, and that they accept the
discomfort as part of the price. As a consequence, if I expect all those
behaviors, tthen they just _meet_ all my expectations, and they
automatically feel good about themselves. They learn something in _that_
process as well. Paradoxically, if I treat them as strong people, then
they _are_ strong people. If I treat them as the strongest people, then
they are the strongest people.
How do you express caring for a person? I think it is by doing yourself,
exactly what you expect of them. Accept discomfort. Describe your
mistakes and your learnings. Describe how it made you feel. Be
vulnerable. Be concerned about their lives, their success, especially
about their performance. Want to learn yourself. Be willing to challenge
them to improve their performance.
Posner has 5 rules of the great leader. Every rule, to be carried out
effectively requires courage, humility, vulnerability to some extent. I
just went looking for my book, but I have given it away (again). One rule
is "Encourage the heart". Another is "Challenge the system." Another,
"Model the way." Really _do_ those things, and you will find yourself
growing. Read the book (not a rule, just my advice). It is
"leadership..." by Kouzes and Posner.
Can you do all this in an uncaring corporation? Not in my experience, but
I was younger when I worked for an uncaring corporation, so I may not have
been as effective as I am now. In my view, there is a connection between
Bean's identification as a top company to work for, and its willingness to
ask people to perform at a high level. There is a connection with the
fact that we concern ourselves with the human rights and social policies
of the companies that produce goods for us. There is a connection with
the incredible loyalty of the LL Bean employee to the company. There is a
connection that Mainers identify Bean as the institution with the highest
integrity they know of (think who the competition is for that!). You see,
when the company is willing to set high standards, it becomes ok to ask
others to set high standards, too.
To summarize, first of all create a caring organization that sets high
expectations for itself. Second, be a caring person yourself, and set
high standards for yourself. Then, help people develop their own little
creative tensions that lead to performance improvement and to learning.
Express caring by challenging them to perform better, and by concerning
yourself with how they feel. Express confidence by expecting them to be
able to cope with uncomfortable or painful situations. Assume there will
be high standards. Express admiration when they succeed.
--Rol Fessenden
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>