Thank you, Leo, for your thoughts and for reminding us of the related
message in Cyrano.
Leo wrote:
"This story is somewhat similar to the experience of the Dutch
psychiatrists. Communicating in anonymity (by e-mail, or by letters signed
under another name) seems a way to open your heart and feelings will be
shared more easily."
We sometimes hide our true selves because of fear of rejection. Jim
Ulrich wrote about the importance of knowing yourself, understanding your
feelings, before you can reveal them to others. And even if we do
understand and ourselves, we must come to accept who we are before our
self-esteem is strong enough for us to reveal ourselves openly to others.
I've been thinking lately about the physical masks most of us hide behind,
i.e. stylish or *appropriate* clothing, make-up, hair-styles, beards, etc.
When we dress up for an event or for another person, does this make it
easier for us to assume a role and hide our authentic self? Why do we
wear make-up or worry about the right clothes for the occasion?
One of the wonderful things about e-mail is that we can't pre-judge others
by how they look. You don't know if I'm black, yellow or white. If I'm
beautiful or ugly. If I'm dressed for success or even if I'm dressed.
For that matter, you don't really even know whether I'm male or female,
just that I'm using a female name. O.K., I'll open the door a little.
Roxanne is my real name, I really am a woman and I'm sitting here at my
computer in my work outfit, a bathrobe.
After attending the opening of the Elizabeth Arden Studio in New York City
and realizing how terribly inappropriate her old black dress appeared,
Georgia O'Keeffe stated that she really wasn't interested in attending any
event that required the purchase of new clothes. I've come to believe
that I really don't want to attend any event that requires me to change my
clothes. I'm not interested in building relationships with people who
can't see beyond the exterior.
What do you think? Do physical masks help or hurt communication? Do they
make it easier for us to hide? Or do they serve a useful purpose in
making us appear more socially acceptable? Should I change out of my
bathrobe before I go visit a client this afternoon?
Thanks for listening....
Roxanne
--Roxanne Abbas mailto:rabbas@comp-web.com http://www.comp-web.com
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