Levels of Intimacy in Communication LO18747

Mon, 27 Jul 1998 23:36:25 EDT

Replying to LO18725 --

Roxanne wrote,

> Do we humans really ever get to that point? I understand it and desire
> the capacity to fully allow others to be who they are and to be unattached
> to their reaction to me, but I know I'm not there today. I guess I can
> accept that the person who rejects me simply isn't on the same plane as me
> and I'd much rather be rejected than have the person fake acceptance. Any
> suggestions on how to continue working on this?

I think some people do approach this, though probably not the majority.
In both adult development and transpersonal psychology, this involves
making the transformation from an ego-based way of being to a more
transpersonal level of development (e.g., see Wilber's hierarchical
psyche, or Maslow's level of transcendence).

The question of how we continue working towards transcendence (beyond the
ego) is a whole field of study in itself, from what little I know. How
do we ever develop, from one stage/phase/whatever to another? Jung
believed it rested with our developing consciousness. A piece of this is
what others have made note of already, as in the persona we often carry
and may put on or take off with our costumes/clothing. As some have
already noted, it's not the fact that our clothing may somehow "change"
who we are; what's important is the extent to which we are conscious or
aware of such changes in our self. The persona we present to the world
may be very deliberate and conscious on our part, or remain beyond our
awareness and perhaps telling more of some of our shadow side than
anything else. Or vary, depending on the context.

The more traditional methods for increasing consciousness involve a wide
range of activities--journaling, inner dialogue activities, dreamwork,
therapy, meditation, et al. Jacobi, who studied Jung's work, described
that this work cannot be just within ourselves, but needs to include an
objective outsider of some sort.

A couple others have mentioned that authenticity is critical for real
workplace development and transformation. I agree, and think LOs move
towards this. What's difficult, I think, is that this process of
transformation and transcendence--whether personal or organizational--is
not strictly a rational process, yet there is such a tendency to struggle
with it via our rational selves. How does a work organization become more

Is it possible to deal with a non-rational process in a rational, logical
way? Often, I think that is what prevents many organizations from really
evolving, or why some work groups seem to really 'get' this idea of LOs or
vital work and others seem to apply the same steps and strategies and get
nowhere with it.

Sorry for my late night ramblings . . . (ah, good material here for my own
increasing consciousness--why the need to apologize for my own thoughts?)


Terri A Deems tadeems@aol.com DAI/WorkLife Design

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