Hello Max,
What is correct for relations with people depends on what the culture
among them accepts. In our culture, to hurt someone's feelings in
providing feedback is considered to be a major transgression. I believe
the problem lies in the area of distinguishing between "fixing" someone
and providing "feedback" in a healthy, high functioning manner. We do not
teach these skills neither in the giving nor in the receiving modes. Far
too often due to the fact that someone is uncomfortable in giving
feedback, it arrives too late, and because they are unskilled at it, it is
delivered as a lecture or devastating put down. Far too often, the
recipient of feedback is left wondering why the issue is raised after
everything seemed so great for so long, and does not recognize feedback
for what it is, but interprets it as a personal attack. We do not teach
the difference and we do not practice raising the issue in our daily
communication events. This is because we are largely unaware of these
considerations and skills. Were we to introduce them into the schools,
homes, workplaces etc., the cultural norms would shift. Cheers, Conrad.
Douglas Max wrote:
> Although we don't hear a lot about the buzzword Politically Correct (PC)
> much more in the US, we see constant vestiges of it. The goal is not to
> hurt anyone by insulting them with a label (fat, dumb, short, black)...so
> we created better labels (weight-challenged, special, vertically
> challenged, African-American) hoping that these "neutral" labels would
> spread to an entire non-judgmental syntax.
--braunc <cbraun@v-wave.com>
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