From hurt to love LO20290
Sat, 2 Jan 1999 15:27:05 -0800

Replying to LO20247 --

Winfried Dressler writes:
> At de Lange wrote:

>> It may seem strange to you, but the art (theory and practise) of a
>> Learning Organisation can be summarised as follows: for every deed of
>> hurt, reply to it with a deed of love. By doing so we will experience
>> emergences to peace, prosperity and happiness.

> Is this the reason why loving people experience the deepest hurt?

> A deed of hurt done to a person able to reply with a deed of love
> supports the experience of emergence. (I hope, I am not turning your
> words in your mouth.)

> At, you refer with the "we" in "By doing so we will..." to those who
> "reply with a deed of love":

> Deed of hurt -> (deed of love -> experience of emergence)

> But what if love acts as an umlomo from hurting to emergence?:

> (Deed of hurt -> deed of love) -> experience of emergence

Winfried, I wish you were able to contribute more often. As with this
message, you enhance my learning tremendously.

My own feeling is that to be able to respond with love for hurt is too
much of an emergence for most of us to make from our current state. Many
of our cultures are based on pride and a sense of identity that demands
"an eye for an eye". For myself, I've tried to learn to avoid
perpetuating cycles of hurt -- to avoid a hurtful response to an act of
hurt. To some of my loved ones, this makes me look like a pushover, one
who can be imposed on, even though I've also tried to learn to stand firm
on the things that truly matter to me -- to preserve my core.

I think what we may need is a kind of "maturity model", a sequence of
achievable steps, that lead incrementally away from the cycle of hurt
toward a cycle of love. Possibly the first step is to be able to react to
hurtful acts from an understanding of why the act happened, and what we
want to happen, rather than feeling bound to "demand justice".


Don Dwiggins "We should desire wisdom rather than trying SEI Information Technology to be clever, because clever catches its master. Wisdom will make us free." -- At de Lange

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