Icebreaker LO21227

Birren, David E (BirreD@mail01.dnr.state.wi.us)
Thu, 8 Apr 1999 09:45:42 -0500

Replying to LO21207 --

Richard Scherberger asked:

>OK...I'll bite...what's "touchy-feely"?

I've heard this phrase a lot in state government, especially in my agency,
which is heavily populated with outdoorsy folks (hunters & foresters) and
scientists (highly-educated technical people). I have rarely heard it
from women, but it is popular with men who like to disparage the "soft"
side of being human. The most vociferous users of this phrase tend to be
macho and impatient, and have either less education or a deep and narrow
technical background. It's used for a variety of purposes, for example:

-- to avoid revealing one's personal vision;
-- to disparage others, especially women, in order to preserve an "old boy"
mentality;
-- to prevent the erosion of hidden agendas;
-- to avoid change;
-- to discount process work done in meetings;
-- to say "I'm from Mars* and don't you forget it" (i.e., to strut one's
masculinity, especially in front of other men).

* reference to John Gray's book _Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus_.

In my view, the underlying motivation is fear of one's own humanity.
Whenever I hear it I'm tempted to ask what it means and why it's
important. The usual response is greater defensiveness, and I've learned
to go along with it on the surface, but I continue to pursue an agenda
that respects the full range of human experience.

With feeling,

Dave

-- 

David E. Birren Project Manager and Consultant, Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources (608) 267-2442 "Teach your tongue to say 'I do not know' and you will progress." -- Maimonides

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