A long posting in two parts.
Summary. My belief is this 'post' contains a glimmer and its acceptance
here a spark.
Pre-amble
I like to read willy nilly 'hither and yon' style over the broad delta of
blue ribbons the digest format represents to me. It is how I found this
forum, it is how I read from it for over two years without so much as a
'peep' and it is still by far the best 'way' for me. The digest has been
stuck since the New Year, so stifled in one direction i took the other, it
is a very rich and enriching experience. In 1995 there was a thread called
'Nothing is Completely Irrelevant'. in LO5500 Rol Fessenden wrote this...
"My only addition is that this must be a characteristic of a lifelong
learner. The ability to be at the edge with vision but not fear, with a
willingness to challenge themselves and others, and be challenged in
return. The desire --even passion-- to stand at the edge and see what may
be there that they could not see before. To be open and defenseless to new
information and emotions that shed light on dimensions previously
unexplored."
What is a 'nest' but an open 'cradle' and what did Einstein mean when he
said, -the fundamental sensation and emotion that stands at the cradle-?
Dear Learners,
I think I already recounted the story of the sick and dying infant girl
and her 'caring' mother, in which the child taught the mother the meaning
of 'presence' as manifest in the crying phrase, "Mummy, be with me NOW."
This post will be longer than that one;-) but I have been good to my
'collective sense' and our implied 'common sense' and I therefore politely
claim a little more 'back space'. After all;-) Rick and I tried to put a
'virtual infinity' into this place a month or so ago but the 'logos ex
machina' would not fit and our 'common space' is not then quite yet ready,
I mean of course 'fitted' for it;-) Perhaps there was 'a word' missing?
Who knows? What does one do when one cannot any longer progress in the one
direction..¦one takes another. Simple enough. So backwards becomes
forwards and "- inexplicable goodness is ultimately the only thing that
saves reality..¦" and now two plus two only makes four so that we can
count upon eternity..¦I was going to involve A.N. Whitehead more in
this..¦ but I won't right now.
-After the tear fell round the world and landed upon the blacked word
"learning" as gifts were wrapped (rapt?)and it made a halo or dissipating
red the friends in learning dispersed, dissipated to many places wherein
another converged in quite different conversing to discuss the nature of
revolution in this evolution. I crave and beg your indulgence not for what
it says, does and is but for what it may invoke, does not say and may yet
become in a saner world, and if that were not enough, I dedicate it to May
in the Gambia. Please, be patient. Let it pass through your imaginations
as light through any crystal.
Andrew,
Did you see the sun this morning? I was watching it and it was stunning.
Low on the horizon, with a convenient row of trees obligingly standing and
jostling for the best spot in front of it, fat and round and blood red.
>From where I was, the mist did things with the light, to form a huge,
glowing red halo that almost filled the sky - never seen that before.
Blew my tiny mind it did. Even the school kids stopped bitching long
enough to watch. And I thought "what a beautiful day." And I thought
about everything we have said over recent weeks about 'light' and 'dawn
'and, and, and.
And then some old lady started swearing at the bus driver and the kids
started laying into the only lad on the bus and the fat black kid got on
and sat by herself, as per usual.
And then I got in to work. So far today, I have dealt with an anxious
father whose daughter is doing some voluntary work with us in *****, who
had seen a programme last night about how they are killing foreign
tourists there. Then I sent a memo to send a Relief Fund grant to our
partners in, following the earthquake. Then I heard that the three of my
colleagues..¦. are stuck in ***** and can't leave the country because a
state of emergency has been declared and fighting has broken out. I have
been taking calls from concerned relatives all morning. Then I faxed a
report about our workers in an area who are distributing amongst other
things, clothes to orphans in a place where the temperature is currently
minus ** degrees. At 'morning prayers' today, we prayed for our people
who are working in a country where the government have just declared that
anyone suspected of practicing the Christian faith, or anyone suspected
of... or anyone suspected of encouraging anyone else to, whether national
or foreigner, will be executed, and anyone who should chose to murder them
will not be tried..¦.snip ..¦And I started to think that maybe it is not
such a lovely day. Perhaps a halfway decent sunrise isn't all it is
cracked up to be. Which isn't to say that it shouldn't be delighted in
and appreciated - in fact, that becomes more important if a sunrise is all
you've got going. But let's keep some kind of perspective here. What
would the sunrise look like if it were dawning over the remains of your
village, shaken and covered in mud and debris? If the pretty, frosty mist
was sub-zero and you were half-naked? Rising over a country in civil war?
Or if you were too scared and persecuted to go out and look at it?
Three years ago, I spent a month working with a guy from *******, who had
a more profound effect on my life than anyone else ever has - and not just
because he could play pool and hold his whisky better than anyone I had
ever met! At the time I knew him, he was a priest, but previously, he had
been a guerilla fighter. He had both seen and committed and been victim
of all sorts of atrocities that you really don't need to know about.
Because of his having "seen the light"(!) and because of his high profile
on a variety of issues that he believed in, there were now a number of
organisations, many of whom had previously been his associates, who now
had death threats out against him. These were serious, and both him and
his wife and kids had been shot at several times. Whilst at home,
underneath his robes, he carried a gun. Whilst he was prepared to die,
and was well used to the possibility, he felt that he couldn't make that
decision for his family and congregation. He asked me whether I would
call myself a pacifist. Normally, I would reply with an unquestioning
"yes", but talking to******, I couldn't, and hesitantly replied that, yes,
I enjoyed that luxury.
Which brings me round to the message I told you about that I didn't send,
in which I whined about the relative usefulness or the "wistfulness" of
some of these discussions that we find ourselves in. Whilst it is all
well and good for those of us privileged enough to own both a computer and
enough education to 'think' and 'read' and 'write' and who live in a
sufficiently rarefied atmosphere to afford the time - or even be paid to -
indulge in such luxuries, what possible use is it to the literally
billions who don't share this luxury? Not that thinking and learning and
writing isn't perhaps a worthwhile end in itself, but as long as these
beliefs and thoughts remain posted on a web page somewhere, they don't
become anything more than that - an end in themselves. Whilst it may be
good to 'appreciate our colleagues', how about going further and loving
them, or better still, appreciating / loving some of the people I mention
above? The other day, a colleague of mine read some stuff I had printed
out on that discussion and left on my desk. She couldn't follow it, and
went away saying "-all too clever for the likes of me". Ok - so it was
out of context and a very limited and stupid illustration that proves
nothing much. But my point is that "Faith without works is dead" - unless
a thought (tacit or otherwise) becomes a word becomes an action, it would
better not have been thought. Surely, that is the whole point of a lot of
the discussion anyway, but it needs to go further -it needs to get out of
the computer and become a life, not a dialogue.
I appreciate that what I am saying speaks as much, if not more, to me as
to anyone else, and comes out of my own personal frustrations and
hypocrisy. Other than yourself, I know nothing about anyone involved in
these discussions or their lives, and wouldn't have a leg to stand on if I
were to begin to judge anyone - I would fall shorter than most (If I fall
short in this, are you still a lanky git?!) [Andrew's note: I am sure you
mean "gift";-).] And yes, I understand that if someone and their life is
enriched, then that in some small way enriches the whole (in the same way
as a butterfly flapping its wings as a tree falls over in the middle of
the Pacific does - whatever..¦) but what about the big way? If people
actually used the resources and powers and abilities available to them,
who knows? There is a phrase that gets quoted in Christian circles -
"expect great things from God - attempt great things for God". But even
if you take the God element out, it still works - "expect great things
from humanity - attempt great things for humanity." Most of us, except in
our most pessimistic moments would support the first part - humanity, or
God, for that matter, is an incredible thing, but for most of us, the
second part would read more like "and try to improve the little bit of it
in which you find yourselves; and think about how nice it could all be,
one day; and think what we could do if it wasn't for." Great things,
Andrew. You said it yourself - you said our missionaries are treating the
symptoms, not the cause, and quite probably rightly so. A start, yes, but
greater things still are needed. One of the last things Jesus said was
"greater things than these you will do in my name". When will we start to
think on that kind of level?
Though as I say, I admit I'm sitting at my desk at my paid job, and whilst
I might be sending these memos and answering these calls, I am also
complaining about the computer and the fact that my chair is too high
(there are many things I fall short of....). Going back to George, after
meeting him, and others whose stories I haven't mentioned, I was all fired
up to go abroad and get stuck in - use some of my connections to create an
active learning organisation, perhaps (an active organisation for active
learning activities!) but at the time I was soon to be married to a man
whose studies and children and various difficulties meant that he was less
able - not unable, mind - to do so, despite a similar inclination and
interest. I felt that, despite the opportunities that were
serendipitously dropping out of the sky, it was his responsibility to
better his little area, and my responsibility to share in that and better
our little area, whilst maybe doing what I could from that little area to
effect the larger area. Three years later, we didn't get married, I am
frustrated and miserable as hell, he has decided not to take his studies
any further and is earning a living as a pub musician. For all I know,
George has been martyred.
As I said the other day, there has to be action, there has to be movement
and movement towards 'the other'. Without such, humanity denies its
essential nature as an outpouring of love and life, and all worship -
which is simply an active acknowledgement of the glory of God, or of life,
and an action of affirmation of that - ceases. Life ceases and people
cease to be people. Krishnamurti might tell me to go and empty my mind of
all the negativity of this morning's work, that in that lies the way to
revolution and God, but I can't accept that. I have to fill myself so
full of that and of compassion until it overflows into action.
To Act, then, is Life, is God, is Revolution - in fact, what I am
suggesting is something in which All Four of Those Words Become One.
Leo has said;
"My dear ones, what happened with us? Are we thinking too much, are we
puzzling too much, do we see the darknesses of all the mysteries behind
and around us, is the only light, the brightness of our melting together?
Are we at the age of wondering and wandering, looking to and searching for
answers by taking the bus, running to meetings or by contemplated walks
with buckets full of daisies (or were they fuchsias? :-))?"
No. We are not thinking and puzzling enough. There are those who think
and puzzle until it becomes so overwhelming, that the thought re-forms
itself, until it becomes so real and so solid it becomes an action. Then,
maybe, we will have puzzled enough, but by then we will have found a
million other things to puzzle and think and act on. And so on. If we are
in the age of wondering and wandering, then let it be a short one, one
that leads in to a brighter one not of wondering but acting, and not
wandering, but walking purposefully.
One final story. Snip --When I dream, it is not that uncommon for them to
seemingly "predict" or at least reflect reality. Nothing unusual there -
but just a very few times, the dream itself has broken into reality.
What do I mean? That I dream an image so powerfully, that when I come back
to reality, it remains. Two examples --Snip --
Anyway, neither of these is hugely significant. They are just anecdotes,
which illustrate the point - that I/we need to "dream an image so
powerfully, that when we come back to reality, it remains." That is what
I meant last night by a bit of 'northern grit'. That is the point at
which all these discussions become worth the memory they are written in,
and the point at which we will have thought and puzzled enough - though
still not too much. Impatient little hypocrite, me.
So yes, the sun was stunning, but at the other side of the world, where
all my calls and faxes come from and go too, it is still the middle of the
night.
M
end of first part.
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