Hello Don, At and list-ers:
I have taken awhile to 'digest' the following request, At:
> Charlie, forgive me , but I must bring this issue up. I am acquainted with
> people like Dan and also some deaf or blind people. Although I have
> immense compassion for them, I always feel extremely uncomfortable with
> them, eventhough I try my best not to show it. The reason is very
> simple. I do not know enough about them because I do not have the
> esperience of a disability like their's. Thus I am forever afraid that I
> will hurt them through my ignorance. I alwaeys feel like running away and
> hide my shame.
And I haven't come up with much to say of my own; but remember a construct
learned some years ago which states:
"If you disclose to people what your inner judgements about them are,
you're in trouble. If you do not disclose those inner thoughts, you're
still in trouble. But it doesn't matter-they most likely already know."
When you observe Dan, or some people I know who have more visible
disabilities than, perhaps, we do; when you closely watch your
interactions with them, you can see where the connections are present or
more conspicuously absent. If you do not pay attention to such sublties,
you miss a great deal. Dan knows when someone connects, and it is when
they come at him in a truly human way. Other people being themselves and
interested is what he responds to most. One friend of Dan's started the
friendship by asking Dan to squeeze his hand with the one that was
inactive for Dan. Dan responded with a determined smile and always tried
to squeeze hard, even though he couldn't. Had that person not
acknowledged or worse, avoided this part of Dan, he would not have enjoyed
the deep social opportunity that occurs all too infrequently with Dan.
I will generalize that we all, as Don suggests, have felt the same
connections and avoidances. Our skills are probably quite advanced in at
least this area...
Thanks for continuing this thread, and I apologize for my infrequent
responses...CS
--Charlie Saur <csaur@remc8.k12.mi.us>
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>