Changing Another Person LO19856 -was:Lectures, learning, etc.

Mark Feenstra (
Mon, 16 Nov 1998 09:52:27 +1300

Replying to LO19854 --

Replying to LO19854 on the topic of "changing other people"
where Rick wrote - -

>On the other hand:
> 3. We TRY to change other people all the time

Rick, I realize I am not giving the full context of your quote here - but
my purpose is not to challenge the general direction of your comments
(which I appreciate) but only to propose a change in the terminology you
are using.

I think it might be helpful to back up and reflect on the fit of the term
"changing other people" for the purpose I presume is intended by you. My
reasoning is that a different term may be more useful, as I believe that
this one can have unintended undesirable side-effects. In me these
side-effects derive from the lack of reference in this statement to the
explicit choice of the other person to change themselves.

My suggestion is not in any way intended to take away from the general
line of enquiry which seems very worthwhile to me. More to clarify further
how best to frame the topic in a way that explicitly acknowledges the
sovereignty of the other. I guess this seems important in a world where
many interests groups do not behave in this way, and my sense is that for
this list this distinction is important. Perhaps "seeking to influence
other people" might be closer to the mark? Still doesn't really do it for
me though. Any other suggestions?

Warm regards



"Mark Feenstra" <>

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