Motivation to Learn when in Despair. LO28621

From: AM de Lange (
Date: 05/27/02

Replying to LO28574 --

Dear Organlearners,

Leroy Ang <> writes:

>What I had shared, is not to further condemn that poor
>family, towards the path of hell. It's fate, or what the
>Buddhist and Hindus termed as Kharma, that their path
>crosses yours and the whole group of learners in this list,
>that we have this opportunity to learn from and help that
>family in what ever ways we can.

Greetings dear Leroy,

I am sorry if I gave the impression that your advice is too hard upon this

One main reason why they (and hundreds like them here in Pretoria) are in
this horrible position, is that they were cared for too much in the
organisations for which they worked. By this I mean that the organisation
arranged their pension, medical aid and paid regular monthly bills. They
learned nothing self how to manage their future. After every month's hard
work they got a salary which they could spend. The one thing which none of
these organisations helped them to learn, is what do when the organisation
has to lay off jobs or even when the organisation gets bankcrupt.

>Soft approach to help them failed. But when someone
>is able to "knock" some sense into them, they "discovered"
>(in the sense of true awakening) their inner desire to
>survive thru this poverty and they did. I termed this
>"Aggressive Motivation".

My approach was not soft all the way. The family lived in another caravan
park until the father's death. The second oldest son is the trouble maker
-- not because he is evil, but because he cannot think in advance as
normal people should. All the warnings of his mother, the manager of the
Caravan park and my wife and myself fell on deaf ears. The manager warned
them that it cannot go on like this.

On several occasions I or another "check writer" had to pay for their
rent. But when it became clear that the manager is going to expell this
family, my wife and I decided to make it easier for him by stop paying the
rent when they fell behind schedule. This happened after about 3 months.
So they had to move to the 2nd Caravan park about 2 km lower down the
river, the one in which they are now staying.

The move did help to convince the son to be more careful in what he does,
but not in the way we wanted it to happen. He is now just laying in the
caravan or sitting around, doing nothing to keep out of trouble.

>Of course, it's a complex situation that has to be
>considered here. Just sharing what i can at this
>moment of time....

Yes, it is. One of the sad things is that the longer they stay in poverty,
the less the number of people still willing to help them.

In another family which we also had to help, the man search for work
almost two years. Fortunately, we had not to help them with rent, only
with food, clothes and spiritual care. The reason? An Indian businessman,
a Muslim, stopped asking rent for the house in which they lived as soon as
he learned of the man's predicament. This was in sharp contrast to some
people, claiming to be Christians, stopped caring for the family because
of the man's inability to get a job.

He finally got a permanent job -- and the family's families and friends
began to visit them again. They themselves stopped going to church.

Hard approach / soft approach? I really do not know. In the case of Job
(the oldest book in the Bible) the hard approach of his three friends did
not work. If was the sof approach of the youngster Eliju which finally

With care and best wishes


At de Lange <> Snailmail: A M de Lange Gold Fields Computer Centre Faculty of Science - University of Pretoria Pretoria 0001 - Rep of South Africa

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