Replying to LO27396 --
Dear Organlearners,
John Dicus <jdicus@ourfuture.com> writes in
Subject: Summing Up The Message LO27396
>President Bush concluded his time with a
>message for the children of the world.
Greetings dear John,
Is it possible to get a transcript of this part of his message?
>There are millions of little eyes on each and every
>one of us. We are stewards of this planet -- of this
>global civilization. What will we do to preserve the
>trust these little ones place in us? How do you watch
>over something as invisible as that trust? As we move
>forward, with necessary debate, to do what must be
>done in the near term, let's be sure we take time to be
>still and quiet so we can hear what we need to do for
>the long run.
These are wise words. At the age of a child a human is still an incredibly
sharp observer. Children scrutinize every adult to find out on what deeds
the adult places emphasis.
Your wise words made me think of something else. The horrible events of 11
September 2001 and as a result of it all which adults did afterwards and
will still do, have been and will be scrutinized by little children. They
have found emphasis, but you as an adult may not be aware of what they
have found. You may hope that they have found the positive, constructive,
brave and noble to be emphasised, but it may actually be the opposite. How
will you know?
The best way is to talk frequently with them so that they can tell you
what have impressed them of 11 September and subsequent events. Do not
tell them what impressed you, but ask them to tell you all which have
impressed them. Should they have gotten some wrong impressions, please
keep your mouth shut and body language dumb so as to hear it all. At later
days you can begin to correct those wrong impressions when the fruitful
moments present themselves.
You may also observe their behaviour closely and look for increasing
signs of the following that they may have gotten wrong impressions:
* respond to conflict with fear, aggression or angry talk
* respond less to the pain and hurt of others
* showing interest in violence and abuse in movies and writings
* exploring activities like kick boxing and professional wrestling
* becoming indifferent to learning, playing and hobbies
* becoming indifferent to people who they used to care about
* becoming highly emotional, stubborn or quiet
* having mightmares and any phobia not shown before.
Do not assume they have gotten wrong impressions, but first make sure by
dialogue what impressions they got. Often the impressions will be right as
a result of you parentage, but because of interacting according to these
impressions with their friends and teachers as usual, they have worked
themselves into conflicts which they cannot resolve constructively. To
create constructively is a complex task in which they will need your
guidance.
Please do not run to the nearest psychiatrist when suspecting that a child
has been traumatized. Please do not let other adults tell you that nothing
is wrong with a traumatized child. First make as parent and as adult as
sure as possible exactly what troubles the child. Should you feel that you
are making no progress, then seek professional help quickly.
Please, when you seek professional help, make sure that this person is
what you think he/she ought to be. A certified professional in today's
world means nothing. Make a first appointment and pay for it just as you
would have done by taking the troubled child along. But question during
this first appointment that person's opinion on all topics which are
crucially important to you like wholeness, openness, compassion,
creativity, dignity, judgementality and love. Make a list of the topics so
that you do not forget them. Some clever people can brain wash you without
knowing it. If that person does not like your questioning or if his/her
answers do not suite you, keep your mouth shut and consider the money
spent for that visit the best you ever could have spent because you will
have saved that troubled child from even more troubles.
There are several possible reasons why you may not succeed in helping a
troubled child whereas a professional person may succeed. It does not mean
that something is wrong with you although in most cases the troubled child
has began to imagine that something is wrong with you too. This
imagination has litttle to do with you, but is based on some or other
mental model which the troubled child got somewhere else. But because of
the natural relationships between you and the child he/she has worked you
also into his/her imagination. The person really good at his/her
profession will soon find out what goes for what rather than pointing the
finger at you. That is why you have to make that first call alone so as to
find out who you are going to call in for help.
I do not want to sound nagging or pushing myself since I have discovered
the 7Es all together (yet not each one alone since many other thinkers
have done that before me). The 7Es (seven essentialities of creativity)
are liveness, sureness, wholeness, fruitfulness, spareness, otherness and
openness. I have found that whenever a troubled child is indifferent or
even shows aversion to any one of these 7Es, the source of the trouble
usually began with a serious impairing through a specific event of that
very essentiality.
Such a serious impairing of one of the 7Es by some horrible event will
seriously diminish the troubled child's capacity for constructive
creativity. With that much of the child's spirituality may crash down like
a WTC tower on 11/09/2001.
What is worrying me immensely is not the children close to you fellow
learners and other people with well formed spiritualitties who will be
helped. It is the millions of children whithout parents or with parents
having distorted spiritualities. Our children as grownups self will have
to deal with these children also as grownups. Are we going to make it now
easier for them then or are we doing the opposite? By not doing anything
for those millions of traumatised children, we indeed are making life much
more difficult for our own children.. By letting our own countries
traumatise those children, we are making life even worse for our own
children. Whether our leaders and experts call it war, justice or
colateral casualties makes it not something else. Since a child is a child
most children respond to deeds rather than words.
>The rule of no realm is mine...
(snip)
>For I too am a steward.
>
>Did you not know?
>(JRR Tolkien, The Return of the King)
Thank you for this profound quote.
>For a more whole tomorrow,
Yes, o Yes.
With care and best wishes
--At de Lange <amdelange@gold.up.ac.za> Snailmail: A M de Lange Gold Fields Computer Centre Faculty of Science - University of Pretoria Pretoria 0001 - Rep of South Africa
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